on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
