this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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