but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
