i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
