OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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