I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
