i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
