She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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