If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
