pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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