I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
