Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
