for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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