C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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