Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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