I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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