I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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