the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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