Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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