All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful