OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
