I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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