Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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