Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
