a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
