shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize