i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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