Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize