woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My vagina is officially offended.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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