I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
