Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
