its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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