I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
