Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
