But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
