Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
