ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
