ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
