Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
