Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
