well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
