that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
