You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
