u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
