Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
