I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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