Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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