Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
