Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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