i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
