Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
