He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
