haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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