Heybabeimwearingurpanties
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
