It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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