i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
