i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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