i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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