He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Sext me about skeletons
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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