Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
