Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
