I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
