absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
