Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
