This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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