Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
